5 sure-fire ways to zombie-proof your home
It turns out that protecting your home from and preparing your family for a zombie attack can be quite useful. As the Director of the Center for Disease Control (CDC) puts it, “If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.”
1. Prepare for a siege —create a Zombie All-Hazards Emergency Kit that includes water, non-perishable food, wooden stakes, a flashlight, basic tools, a battery or hand-crankable radio and a gun loaded with silver bullets if you can get your hands on some.
2. Dismantle your staircase — retreat to your upper floors and eliminate all access from downstairs. In the panic of attack, you might be reduced to smashing your stairs to bits, but a little advanced planning will enable you to take it apart for re-assembly post apocalypse.
3. Power tools are not your friend —there is plenty of precedent for zombies finding nearby power tools and wielding them with deadly effect. Drain the power, bury the tools or break them, but do what you can so they can’t be used against you.
4. Strengthen your siding — fiber-cement siding is the most likely to withstand zombies scratching and kicking the outside of your home to get to you. Not to mention, replacing your current exteriors with fiber-cement siding ranks number one in Hanley Wood’s Cost vs. Value report for projects costing more than $1,200, returning an average of 83% of your investment when you sell your home.
5. Don’t let them know you’re home —keep your curtains closed and your shades down. Cellular shades and wood blinds both offer adjustable light as well as helping to control the temperature of your home, keeping the heat out in warm months and keeping it in during cooler times, which might come in handy if your fuel supply is threatened during a zombie invasion.
For more tips on defending your home, see this step-by-step guide from This Old House.